Marriage Matters: What if I’m NOT married?

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This week at ACC, we began a series related to marriage.  Our first message answered common questions that we receive from people who are single.  You can get the audio on the Adventure Christian Church website.  (notice that, by request, I put a little more commentary in my notes this week than I have in past postings).

Here are my notes:

Don’t I need to be married to be complete?

2 Peter 1:3 – God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness …

What blessing is there in being single?

1  Corinthians 7:32-35

note:  freedom from pressure, free for ministry, free to give (often, depending on situation)

What should a pre-marital relationship “look like”?

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 – It is God’s will that you should be sanctified:  that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.  The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.  For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

1. You should be prepared (i.e., you should know if advance what you are looking for)

verse 3: It is God’s will that you should be sanctified:  that you should avoid sexual immorality;

2. It should be disciplined (i.e., dating is partly about learning discipline, patience, and putting the other person first;  refrain from living together)

verse 4:  that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,

3. It should be Christ-centered (i.e., your relationship should be with a Christian; don’t fall into the trap of “evangelistic dating”)

verse 5:  not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;

4. It should be based on friendship (you must be friends first; dating is about finding a companion whom you will be in union with forever;  you will want to be friends with that person!)

verse 6:  and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.  The Lord will punish all who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.

5. It should be tempered (your relationship should mature slowly and deliberately, just as a potter tempers clay before use; holiness in a relationship takes time)

verse 7:  For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

I’m 16, can’t I choose my own boyfriend / girlfriend?

note:  Not by yourself you shouldn’t!

Ephesians 6:1-3 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

note:  parents — be involved; “let go” appropriately

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I used to be married.  Is my situation different?

note:  Yes, it is, and at times, very much so, especially if children are involved.  There are more people involved / to consider, plus additional issues such as blending families, parenting issues, authority issues, etc.

Red lights, yellow lights, green lights.  –  note:  Usually, a person married before will have to navigate (pay attention to) a lot more yellow lights and red lights than a person who has never been married.  see, book:  Dating and the Single Parent by Ron Deal

We are thinking about getting married.  What should we do next?

Proverbs 15:22 – Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.